Make your own free website on Tripod.com
......SOME OF THIS...SOME OF THAT......

"Canada, Oh Canada!"

On the sixth day, God turned to the angel Gabriel and said, "Today I am going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty, it shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautifully sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, rivers stocked with salmon." God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil, so to make the inhabitants prosper. I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, they shall be known as the most friendly people on the Earth." "But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?" "Not really," replied the Almighty, "just wait and see the neighbors I am going to give them!" ~ GOD BLESS AMERICA ~

Stray Cats

Strict, Unbending Rules For Dealing With Stray Cats: 1. Stray cats will not be fed. 2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food. 3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk. 4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps. 5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence. 6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily. 7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name. 8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time. 9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times. 10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y". 11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture. 12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture. 13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches. 14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand. 15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter. 16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room. 17. Stray cats will sleep outside. 18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage. 19. Stray cats will sleep in the house. 20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket. 21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lamb's wool pillow. 22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed. 23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot. 24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers. 25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot. 26. Stray cats will not play on the desk. 27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer. 28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is sdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hbdm9l o9jmdskdm,. USING IT..!!